See Jack Write

Apparently I’m doing my monthly check-in here… Frankly, I don’t know how you people do it! Between Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr and Hulu and Netflix and real life? No wonder I only have 27 followers! 

I’ve been writing a lot, making some connections, making some decisions…. I know all 27 of you have been worried and craving updates. I have none. BUT - I do have some great links to pieces I’ve written in the past month. 

For example, the photo above is of two cold soups I made for my PT column. Get those badass recipes here

Want to know how to optimally organize the produce in your fridge and on your counter for extended freshness? Read about that shit here. 

Wondering what four chefs in Eugene think about spring produce and want to learn four amazing recipes? Oh yeah.. I’ve got that for you right here.

Maybe you feel like learning about mushrooms. I could give you a general tutorial here, or speak more specifically about morels here. Your choice.  

Perhaps you feel like learning about an instrumental band called Basin + Range. I’ve got that covered here. 

Last but not least, you may be curious about matcha or cool foreign snacks. Did that too. Here and here

That doesn’t even cover the Wanda Jackson preview that didn’t run due to double booking, or the four pieces I’ve turned in to various pubs that have yet to run. Whew.  

Now. Will someone important see this and please offer me a job? I’m tired of waiting tables. 

Ok, I haven’t posted for a while. and there are many things I could blame. The beautiful weather, the recent sunburn I acquired (making typing slightly uncomfortable), the strange urge I’ve had to take midday naps… the list could go on. 

But - one thing I should tell you about is my cracker adventure last week for Poor Taste. I made wheat thins, Cheeze-It’s, and water crackers FROM SCRATCH. Those beauties above are my wheat thins. The didn’t last through the night. 

You should probably check it out. Recipes (and fab column) here. 

What doesn’t photograph well but tastes delicious? If you answered Nutella, you are right!!

This week for my Poor Taste column I whipped up the amazing chocolate/hazelnut spread. I find it strange that it has been marketed as part of a healthy breakfast since the ’40s to everyone in Europe (and Australia), yet we are the ones with obesity problems. 

Maybe you shouldn’t eat half the jar with a spoon? 

Anyway… check out the recipe here. 

theatlantic:

Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 Tips on How to Write a Great Story

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

Via Brainpickings/Reddit [Photo: AP]

Forget all those shitty plates of hash browns and home fries you’ve ever endured. I’ve cracked the code and paved the way for your perfect potato. 

Read all about it in my On the Make column this week

I love you Slaughterhouse 90210

slaughterhouse90210:

“Modern party-dance is simply writhing to suggestive music. It is ridiculous, silly to watch and excruciatingly embarrassing to perform. It is ridiculous, and yet absolutely everyone does it, so that it is the person who does not want to do the ridiculous thing who feels out of place and uncomfortable and self-conscious.”
― David Foster Wallace, The Broom of the System

This week for On the Make my column is titled “Curry Wishes and Garam Masala Dreams: DIY Indian Spice Cupboard.” I like to think of the title as my tribute to Robin Leach, former host of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. 

In order to write the column I held my friend Kavitha hostage until she spilled the secrets of Indian cooking. Spending an entire afternoon cooking? worth it. Smelling like curry for the rest of the day? worth it. Eating leftover curry for a week? worth it. Jacket still smelling like curry almost two weeks later? worth it. 

I love that Indian cooking is all about sight and smell - hardly any tasting goes on, and measuring? Oh, hell no. 

Read all about it here - and become a curry master!